Sponge Experience: Here I am, Stuck in the Middle with You

Dear So and So,

I don't know what it is about sponges.  People seem to love putting them in the middle of things they don't want anything to do with.  I feel Stealers Wheel describes my feelings perfectly.   

"Well, I don't know why I came here tonight. I got a feeling that something ain't right."
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you.
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you and I'm wondering what it is I should do."

A clown and a joker have a disagreement.  What to stick in the middle of it?  A sponge.  What could possibly be a better buffer than a sponge?  Its gooey-ness and absorbancy create the best buffer there is.  And while the two buffoons shoot water at each other out of those flower water guns clowns always seem to have around, the sponge just soaks it all in for them.

"It's so hard to keep this smile from my face, losing control, I'm all over the place.
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you."

Clown disagreements are usually absurd.  A bit of pantomiming and over-dramatic facial expressions.  A pile of assumptions and lack of clarifications.  Obscene gestures.  Maybe some blame rolling around in there too.  And don't forget the very large shoes.  Quite often, these disagreements aren't based in reality at all.  Or possibly even an alternate reality created by the clowns themselves.  
  
"Trying to make some sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all.
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor? I don't think that I can take it no more."

Despite my pantomiming, gesturing, even addressing the issues head on, people still try so hard to stick me in the middle.  The "peacemaker."  The "glue."  All words for what I have now deemed a "sponge."  Maybe sometimes the clowns should go to Wal-mart and buy their own glue. Maybe sometimes I don't want to be the sponge.   Maybe they should learn to stop using those stupid flower water guns and COMMUNICATE once in a while.  "I feel X, when you do Y, and I would like Z."  Easy cheesy.  Therapist approved.   

"Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you."

I may get stuck in the middle a lot.  But who says I can't jostle things up a bit?  I can bring my own flower power water gun!  Never underestimate the power of a sponge with a water gun.  Or better yet, I can put up my green scouring pad sponge defenses!  Any water those clowns/jokers/whatever they are squirt at each other "through" me will just bounce right off the green and hit them in the face. 

Maybe then they'll learn that I will not absorb their conflict water anymore.  And finally deal with their own problems face to face and quit putting me in awkward positions I'm not prepared for.  Until they do (which may take a while), I'm working on my scouring pad.  Thickening it up a bit.  Finding those sponge pieces that need more protection.  So it won't matter what situations I find myself in.

Love,
The Fortunate Sponge